(Translation: I am an American.)I have been feeling that this is a loaded statement lately. But, I haven't fully understand why ...until today. I had a conversation with a friend. I told her that I am trying to understand "la mentalite francaise" (French mentality) toward America and Americans. Whoa!!!!!!!!!!! Let's just say that the bottle of wine came out immediately after she left. Wow. This is a friend that I have known for several years now- one of only two French women that were willing to speak English to me when I arrived (even though everyone studies English here and this particular friend didn't graduate from high school- so she probably studied it less than others- all this to say that she has gone out of her way more than others to reach out to me). She and her husband are without a doubt our closest friends in our little town, and they were the first people from our church that befriended us. They have had us in their home at Christmas. She comes to visit me. She is a very good friend. Today, in the context of TV and movies, she made the statement that she is "anti-American". Of course, I was intrigued and automatically wanted to understand what she meant. I learned in cultural training that American culture is like a peach- people generally open up to others quickly but then like a peach pit, it may be hard to reach into the core to discover their real feelings. French culture is like a coconut- hard to pierce. It is harder to form relationships or get in but once you're in, it is easier to reach the core where real feelings are shared. I think I reached the core today. And whoa! I am floored.
I think that I thought (or secretly hoped) when telling someone that I am American, that they felt like- oh, yeah, the good guys, the one all the world admires and wants to be like. Boy, was I wrong! This friend of mine basically told me that she feels bombarded by all of the bad parts of America (excessive sex, violence, etc) on the television and that every night she has the impression that she lives in the streets with drug dealers and crime and terrible murders- CSI, FBI Missing, and all those other crime shows. They are translated in French and played here. She feels that each night when the TV is on, they can barely find anything "not American" to watch and if they can, then it is a French copy of an American crime or reality show. She feels that this is all forced upon her because it is all that is on- there are no good choices of television programming and everything bad is American. How sad. I told her that I concur with her feelings about this type of programming and that I can not watch much on TV in the States either, because it grieves my spirit. She feels that America has influenced the TV and film industry very negatively in France.
And then we started talking politics. Of course, we talked about President Bush. I have never heard any French person that has anything good to say about him. While I realize that the war in Iraq has not gone well (and yes, I know that is an understatement), I still feel that in his heart he was trying to do what he thought to be the right thing. This friend basically feels that President Bush has dragged the name of God through the mud for the whole world to see with his poor decisions and his claim to be a Christian. She says that the term "nouveau nee" (born again) now has very negative connotations as it is connected to George Bush, so negative that new Christians in France need to find another term to use in order to distuinguish themselves as new Christians but not connect themselves with all of the controversy that surrounds Bush and the war in Iraq.
This is not as surprising as some other things that bother my friend about the US. Aside from the violent sex-filled media that we export and the war gone bad, my friend also said that people here feel "menaced" by youth movements in the US like the one where young girls are committing to be virgins until they are married. What? How is this a bad thing? So these girls are standing up for what is right (while protecting themselves from STDs and unwanted pregnancies) and the French feel "menaced"? They feel that in the words of my friend, we, and consequently they, are moving backwards.
France is, according my friend and numerous people I have talked to, always behind the US. Since they attained women's rights later, they feel that this sort of thing is a move backwards, she explained. Why are girls who are choosing to live wisely seen as a threat to them? And why is it a move backwards to do what is right rather than follow society's "do whatever feels good" trend? Why they should feel pressured or threatened by any youth movement in the US, I don't know. I don't understand why what we do seems to affect them so much. Why do they really care so much about our war gone bad? What do they care if girls in the US have decided to come together and stand for purity? Are we that influential in their lives and mentality and culture? I guess the answer is "yes". I guess that is why they feel that they have the right to be so critical of us and everything we do and stand for.
None of this should be a surprise to me after living here for about 3 years, but it just felt like a slap in the face to receive such criticism (even though it wasn't personal) from a friend. It felt personal. It felt like being slapped in the face over and over again for a couple of hours. It felt like she was saying that every "American" thing that has made its way into France and been accepted into the culture here is making things here bad. So, it feels as if everything bad here is, of course, our fault. I can't help but resent this blame game. Obviously we are all responsible for our own choices and if they choose to accept the bad then, how is that our fault? She likened it to the verse in Scripture about the stronger brother causing the weaker brother to stumble. We are "Christian America" and here we are sending all that is bad around the world. Basically my friend feels that America is going downhill fast and pulling everyone here down with them. Alot to think about and decide how to respond to... I didn't realize how much being American is a part of my identity until my defenses began to rise.
